Blog · 02
Networking Is Not Something You Can Force
Praveen Wedisinghe · 12 October 2026 · 5 min read
Why I think good networks, in business and in life, are built on giving.
The short version
- You cannot force a network. Handing out more business cards or sending more LinkedIn requests does not manufacture a connection.
- A connection forms in three steps: you connect with someone, you deliver something useful, and they find it fair for what they had to put in. Miss a step and it is only a transaction neither side wants to repeat.
- People can feel it when you walk into a conversation already calculating what you can get out of them, so a network has to be genuine before it can be useful.
- Expecting something back is fine. Business is business. The line is between being reasonable and trying to exploit.
- What anyone can build, introvert or extrovert, is communication: be confident, clear and concise, and read the room. Do that and the right connections tend to happen on their own.
There are introverts, extroverts, ambiverts and probably a few more verts I haven’t heard of yet. Some people light up in a room full of strangers. Others would rather have one good conversation over coffee than ten quick ones at an event. I’ve been on both sides depending on the day.
Whatever kind of vert we are, I think we can all agree on one thing. Humans are meant to live, work and behave as a community. We don’t do our best work alone, and we certainly don’t have our best lives alone.
One life, and what actually makes us happy
I think we all like having good friends. I know I do. I like having a friend who cares about me, who is there for me and who supports what I’m trying to do.
We only get one life. On the day we leave it, we won’t be taking anything with us. So the truth is, we have to spend it doing things that make us truly happy.
How do we become truly happy? I believe it’s by giving. Giving generously, without expecting anything in return.
I’ll be honest, that’s easier to write than to live. We’re all human and we all have expectations somewhere in the back of our minds. But at least we can try.
Business networking is no different
I believe the same applies to business networking. Networking is about connecting. For two people to connect, they need to find each other compatible, genuine and easy to be around. I don’t think you can get that vibe if you walk into a conversation already calculating what you can get out of the other person. People can feel it.
So a business network, like any other network, has to be genuine. Here’s how I see a real business connection forming:
- You connect with someone.
- You deliver something useful to them.
- They see it as valuable, and fair for what they had to put in.
That’s a connection.
I’m not saying you should never expect anything in return. Business is business, and we all have bills to pay. What I’m saying is to be reasonable instead of trying to exploit. If you fail to deliver, or you try to rip the other person off, there’s no such thing as a connection. There’s just a transaction that neither side wants to repeat.
You can’t force it, but you can communicate well
With all of this in mind, I don’t think networking is something we can force. You can’t manufacture a connection by handing out more business cards or sending more LinkedIn requests.
What we clearly can do is become good communicators. When I say good, I mean four things:
- Confident
- You believe in what you bring, so the other person can believe in it too.
- Clear
- People understand what you do and how you might help, without having to work it out.
- Concise
- You respect the other person’s time.
- Able to read the room
- You pay attention to the person in front of you, what they care about and what they need right now, and you adjust.
Introvert or extrovert, these are skills anyone can build. And when you communicate this way, the right connections tend to happen on their own.
The project of life
I want to do more with my life, with my skills and with the experience I’ve built over the years. Right now I’m on a journey of connecting with more people and doing more together with them.
As a project manager, I think about benefits a lot. Every project is meant to deliver them. Life is no different. It’s the biggest project any of us will run, and we should make sure we realise its benefits.
But what’s the point if I’m the only one who benefits?
If any of this resonates with you, I’d love to connect. Not because I want something from you, but because I’d like to find out what we could do together.
Questions
How do you build a professional network if you are an introvert?
By working on communication, not on volume. Confidence, clarity, being concise and reading the room are skills, not personality traits, and anyone can build them. An introvert who has one good conversation over coffee and then actually delivers something useful will build a stronger network than an extrovert who collects fifty business cards and follows up on none of them. The connection comes from what you give, not from how many rooms you worked.
What makes a business connection genuine instead of transactional?
Three things in order: you connect with someone, you deliver something useful to them, and they see it as valuable and fair for what they had to put in. If all three happen you have a connection worth repeating. If you fail to deliver, or you try to rip the other person off, you have a transaction neither side wants to repeat. People can also tell when you walked in already calculating what you could get out of them, and that kills it before it starts.
Can you force networking?
No. You cannot manufacture a connection by handing out more business cards or sending more LinkedIn requests. For two people to connect they need to find each other compatible, genuine and easy to be around, and that is not something you can push. What you can control is how well you communicate and whether you actually give the other person something useful. Do both and the right connections tend to happen on their own.
What makes someone a good communicator in business?
Four things. Confident, so you believe in what you bring and the other person can believe in it too. Clear, so people understand what you do and how you might help without having to work it out. Concise, so you respect their time. And able to read the room, so you pay attention to the person in front of you, what they care about and what they need right now, and you adjust.
Should you expect something in return when you help someone professionally?
Expecting something back is not wrong. Business is business and we all have bills to pay. The point is to be reasonable, never to exploit. Give generously, do not walk in with a calculation running, and keep the exchange fair for what each side put in. The networks that last are the ones where both people would happily do it again.
Why does networking advice never seem to work?
Because most of it treats networking as an activity to be performed, when it is something that follows from giving. Attend more events, send more requests, collect more contacts. None of that creates the thing that makes two people want to stay in touch. Humans are meant to live, work and behave as a community, and the connections that stick are the ones where somebody delivered something useful and the other person felt it was fair.
